Sick

I should have treasured my sound not until I lost it. I am so sick these days that I was not able to speck a word. I felt bad and couldn't eat during the prom night. Now I got endless nasal mucus. It's not that bad to be not able to speak, but the worse thing is that I can't sing.  Listening to the music, I occasionally open my mouth trying to murmur the melody but it was awkward because I can't make any sound. I feel stupid about doing this. [> <] 

I went swimming with my dad this morning and sneezed every round when I got to the two ends of outfalls. It was great. I don't want to admit that I am sick because in the case I will never get well. Instead, I like to ignore it and do whatever I want as if I were not sick. Then it will recover quickly. [Then why you typed it down, Lucy. Ironic. Sounds like it's true all the time, but not this one.] "Choose to be optimistic, it feels better," Dalai Lama.  

Welcome Back

For this post, let me welcome myself back to Blogger where I used to write many journals and where I 'had' lost the habit. Now I'm back :) Sometimes I got upset and didn't feel like doing anything. The worse case is to fall off the tract of living: taking bath, doing yaga, walking dog, watching movie, listening to musics, chatting with friends, reading novel, taking photo, making cards and craft books...[wow I actually realize more when I type these] including writing blogXD. While I was jogging with my dad in the field, he pointed out on a AD saying that Zhubei, the city we live in, is ranked the first place of loving exercise, quality of living, popular city,and first or second place of reproducing rate. [it was a long list consisting of around 20 items lol] He then mentioned the cracky road that is always under construction. We both laughed. Living is challenging. Nobody said it's easy either.

Rime of BriLit.

Just as the Ancient Mariner can compel men to listen to his tale, [Coleridge] can compel us to read "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" from first line to last, and communicate his message to us to that we become "sadder and ...wiser". The word, or name, in the
parenthesis, is interchangeable to Mr. Dahl....lol! I am happy that I finally finish reviewing, or I should say 'rereading' Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Amen! We should love all living things in the world, no matter big or small, or transparent (?!), not exception if you see one. Things were not going well as I have lost my tract on this bonus journal. Still, glad to write a post.

Wiling mountain

I am here up in the Wuling mountain village. The peach flowers have blooms,pink and reddish with some browny spots. Daddy drove us to Yilun Friday after school. We went hiking yesterdays after a long drive to Wuling in Taichung County. Alining the tract we into a misty coniferous forest. It rained for a while and stop a while as we experienced the way ancient traveler walked through the path visiting the other side of the mountain probably toward the eastern Taiwan. However we did not went to that tract because it would have to spend several days to finish, instead we chose the other way. At the of the tract we finally find the Tao Waterfall.

Crazy People Crazy Cat

My dad shared this video (he called me to his desk; not 'share' on Facebook or email or anything like that) with me about how enthusiastically people 'participate' those 'hilarious' youtube video. I like the section he introduce different version of the cat video, from original version to international versions. (Japanese, Russian, US, Cosmic...etc) It is truly interesting that people all over the world like this kind of seeming nonsense, not really that funny (if you seriously think about it but I suggest you don't) video. [Perhaps I do too! :D]

Feeling

I always feel that I will be successful someday. The the only problem is how? I know I can do anything well as long as I'm very concentrated on it. The issue lies on what I'm going to do, which I have thought about it for a long time. Since I will have be thinking about it for probably my whole life, I should just start working on something. And whatever I am working on there will be fruit of result. I am good at anything as long as I pay attention and put effort in it. Ha! Ha!!

227

I stayed at home alone during this holiday while my parents and sister went to visit my grandparents for cleaning up the graves. I woke up really late and went to school to take my holt reader. Unfortunately I did not find it and thought it was probably at home but it was not true. Since I did not find it I fall out from my schedule and did not know what to do. I wondered around and was indecisive whether to read Don Quixote in the big green book. Finally I did not finished anything. Then I hanged out with two friends in downtown and bought about six clothes. I don't usually buy clothe by myself and outside mall. I thought since I had gone out, I should buy something. Otherwise it would be a waste of time as what I did in the morning at home. Anyway, because 228 was not a day off at PAS let me morn for the people who was killed that historically rememberable day.

Scholar's Cup

I joined the Scholar's Cup program with Willy and Julius. On next monday, we are going to register through Ms. Sherry. Even though I am happy to form a team as I really want to join this fun competition, I felt a little bit uncertain.  It will definitely be a great opportunity for me to improve my debating skills, particularly in English. I'm sure I will learn many techniques and skills beside the debating materials. To sum up, it will be a excellent experience before I go to university as I have not joined similar program such as MUN before. There are six subjects, including science, literature, arts, current events, etc, that we have to prepare for the competition. The events includes not only debating but also essay writing and others. I'm exciting that I will have a busy and fulfilling life on the second semester of senior. :D

Badminton

Wednesday after school, I went to swimming team practice with Sharon, Justin and Frank. Since there were only 3 people, we decided to play badminton on the second flour. Frank and I was in the same team that verses Sharon and Justin. Frank said that he the most elastic fatty in the world. He must have thought played relatively well than people would normally imagine a person like him does. After a practice game, we made a deal that the side first lose 21 ball have to swim 200 meters more in the next swimming practice. I enjoy playing badminton with them very much.

Emotional

I had a dinner of swimming team. There were five girl, including me, three boys, and two coaches. I sat with three other girls. One of them was sick, the other two seemed to worry about something. I was worry about someone too. The other girl and the boys ate over forty plates of meat and continued to play (in which loser had to eat more) when I left. I wondered if they really enjoy eating in that way, in which they must be too full. I felt as if an outcast. I realized that, recently, I was not enjoy the moment I lived. I thought and worry about things that I did not [really] try to make it better. I regretted the moment that had just past [almost] all the time. Others might think I was doing alright because regretful feeling came from the fact that I did not try my best. [perhaps no one except me cared] I felt sorry to my mother [and mostly to myself] that I complained my poor time management to her yesterday when we're in a clinic. I knew it must have hurt her. From now on, I need to catch every moment 'doing' something and stop 'thinking' things. There is really no time for me to worry anything. I want to be motional NOT emotional!

Survey

I knew that I should have had to filled out a survey of PAS at this morning assembly. It was a online survey in which I had to login the school mail system in order to get the link. Therefore, I finally figured out how to login my PAS mail account. The survey was about the quality of school, including the teachers, atmosphere, clubs, and rules. By this survey, school can have better understanding of the students and what we need. Perhaps it was asking how we, students, felt about the lock-out rule. It asked question like "Do you agree the presence in class is important to learning?" There were 1-5 choices such that 1 is strongly agree and 5 is strongly disagree. I choose 3, neutral, for most of the questions even though I knew it was not considerably helpful. Most of the question asked for that based on the altitude of learning and aspect of education. I wonder what and how they can do with the result data. Hopefully my answers help PAS to be better.....

Happiness

"There is no way to happiness, but happiness is the way" I saw this quotes today. Although it seems to be a nice quote, it has superficial meaning to me in the past. I now realize that many things that I wish to done it happily or to have a happy ending are in way to achieve: just be happy. The term "happy" seems vague and, perhaps, overused. In other words, I should not rely my emotion on anything, anyone or any expectation. In that way, I have control over my mood and would not fall into the fluctuated emotional wave. On the opposite site: since I should not depend my mood on 'things', should things depend on my mood? There is no exact answer because it IS true that things would always follow my mood, which plays the role of my altitude. After all, it is relatively easy to state in words but hard put such an abstract ideas into life. "Happiness" is a word with the hardest, deepest, yet easiest meaning.

Hiking

I went to hiking with my parents today. Along the way, we pass by an old friend's house. I met her in the first grade of local senior high school. Although we did not spend a long time together, she has always been my good friend.
On the mountain, we tried several paths and saw an obsolete building with tennis field at the back, swimming pool in the front, and a park near by. All of them are damaged and abandoned. Half of the building was tore down. We even saw a part of the part that had been burned. If we're not chatting, everything there, objectively, must have seemed a little bit frightening. Along the track, I discovered some interesting plants, which my mom always had lots things [knowledge] to tell. We took some pictures as well. After all, it was a great time to hike with dad and mom.

Yoga

I recently adopted  a new healthy hobby: yoga. I first found this application on mac app store. It teaches people yoga by video and steps with voices. I can follow it steps by steps easily to do a series of poses. Actually, I had been long wanted to learn yoga, not only because it seemed to me a heathy and mild exercise but also because it can help me calm down and catch a positive way of life. By doing yoga, I feel myself with the control over my body. Stretching helps me relax and alleviate stress that usually ties around me. Most of all, after every practice of yoga, I would fall asleep deeply and almost instantaneously. I hope to keep this hobby and have a renew life!

Busy

It was a day I act normally but felt differently. Many of my classmates have gone to Washington D.C. for MUN. I was really nervous during lunch. I took the AP biology barron book with me. Flipping the pages randomly and glimpse through all the key words that I saw. I found the line almost empty when I stopped for a moment and rose my head. I quickly walked to the line, and was caught up by Austin who came to ask me where we're going to cramp the test. Then I took only a bowl of soup and finished it as if eating a task. While listening the presentation, I alternatively listen to others' presentation, prepare my presentation, and cram for the test. Austin gave a nice presentation. I really admire his public speaking skill, which I had always wanted to improve. After my presentation, I had no time to think about whether I presented well as I usually regretted that I could do better. Instead, did a quick review. Action by action. Great feeling to be busy. 

Valentine's Day

It's the lovers' day.
[sigh~] Mr. Smart and Mr. James were married, and I guess that's why they gave presentation project and test tomorrow. After school, I was held by Annie who reminded me that we had this biology presentation to prepare. Because she did not bring her computer with her, I walked with her to home, with her disgusting home-made chocolate, and went to Mcdonalds together. At 17:20, we finally finished. 19:00 I had a 'study-salad' at the Cats' Cafe. I found that there're many classical novels and books in English all over the cafe that I never really got close to look at them before. Two cats were sleeping on the sofa. I wrote a letter on the paper napkin, and wish that someone could be here to spend this enjoyable moment with me. At 20:30, they turned off all the lights, and played a black-white movie about Nazi comp. [Did they forget what day it was?!] 22:30 I got home, did yoga, went to bed, watched a lovely google video, and slept. I had a usual, yet unique day, like how 'most' people 'celebrate' the National Day.

Swimming

I went to swimming team today. It has been an semester since that last time I went to practice. Even though I had not been to it for such a long time, I regularly practice on my own during the weekend. I was glad that I have improve a lot. When I first joined swimming team, I swam about the lowest, alternating with Tiffany Liu, who was my best companion. I struggled almost every practice, but I never quited because I eventually felt good after each practice. 

"Second swimmer, go!" I hit the wall with both leg, and swam with free style, which I was best skilled with. Looking at the feet of the person in front, I become closer to him. White. The water fluctuated noisily, and were coming in my month. I chose not to surpass him, but just swam beside  him because that in that way, he would swim faster. "Why don't you swim faster?" I asked him. "There were water in my goggle," said him. I continually followed him closely at his back. Maybe I was too shy to beat him or challenge his confidence. My mind was a bit complicated. Thinking too much…Most of all, I enjoy swimming, and would like to improve my skill:PP 

Lost & Lost

This is not my month. I 'have' lost many items recently. During this recent trip to Japan, I lost my sony camera and watch. I couldn't find the camera on the second day of skiing after my sister and I finished lunch with our parents in the hotel. I found it lost when we sat on the gondola where I checked the map, and was about to explore the other side of the mountain. Although losing it did not rein our advantage in the ski resort [don't have to stop to take picture?!], I felt sad every time I saw a beautiful scene of mountain. Nevertheless, it is not the worse. The next day, I lost my watch, which cost roughly ten thousand NT. It must be snapped into two when I was skiing because I never took it off. My sister kept comfort me by saying that I should be happy to say good bye to my watch since it had been with me for so long, and it's certainly I would have lost it someday.[true....] Even though I knew it's quit impossible to find it back, we tried. At least, let's the way I say "good bye" to them. Beside, I just lost my pencil case this week....NOT MY DAYS!

Bake a Cake

Mr. Porter gave us a new writing assignment to write a process of baking a cake with particularly cause-and-effect format. We first read an article about the causes and effects of the color of leaves in autumn. Most of us were going to research online but there were no internet connection in the classroom. Mr. Porter, who are quite pessimistic but pretend not to be, said that he would show several video to us so we wound not copy any receipt from the internet. For the next half of the class, he continued to show us video from youtube. However only the first one was serious. All other video were meant to be entertainment not really teaching how to make a cake. I guess I still have to research a bit to write this essay.

Science Fair

Many students stayed after school to finish their science fair poster yesterday. Tiffany and I also stayed in cafeteria to rush out our poster, but we did not stay to 'finish' it. Instead, we left most of the part to today, which is the final day that we must make it up or call it 'finished'. It will make it the shortest period of the time between it's finished and it's used. And perhaps it sounds very efficient. I have no choice but not to doubt whether we can make it or not. Whatever it will become, I wish will focus on my presentation. The conflict is that both Tiffany and I are sort of perfectionism. We paid too much attention to detail. Therefore we fail to look at the whole frame of the project. Believe it or not, I tried, and will keep trying.

Craft Making in Hakkaido

This pictured was taken with a Japanese crafter maker at a workshop in Japan where I had a trip with my family. It was a morning when I saw a advertisement in a occasional magazine for traveler. I whimsically told my parents that I wanted to go there and learn this craft making with wool. So finished breakfast earlier and looked at the advertisement more carefully while waiting for them. I told them to follow me. Then I first took them to take the JR train to Sapporo, and ask for the way at the information center. In addition I asked the lady to book the schedule for this craft tutor. Then we took a bus to the mall. It's not easy to travel in such a busy city where there're over 10 bus platforms each with several bus lines, with names that all looked almost the same to me. I was excited when I finally got there. I spent a little time choosing what I wanted to make, and then he, the crafter, helped me get the materials, cluster of woven. Then he taught me some basic steps to make shapes. After making the head, body, arms and legs for about one and half hours, I felt tired to follow the model I chose. I started to add things to my cute bunny. I gave her a pair of white wings, let her hold a red heart, and made her a neckless. I guess, like me, he liked my bunny so much that he took a picture of it and posted on his blog!

Postcards

Throughout this trip, I had sent several postcards (temporarily forget how many I wrote lol). Some of them were sent from the hotel in the mountain Niseko, others were sent the hotel in Otauru. Those that were sent from up in the mountain were each attached with a map I used for skiing. I hoped people who receive them can anticipate the time I explored in the skiing resort. The other 2 postcards sent in the Otauru are pictures of snow festival. At night, the street was decorated with candles each put inside a cylinder made of snow. These postcards, unlike onces sent in mountain, were free from the hotel check out. One of them was sent to my 9th grade teacher in junior high school. I can imagine that she would be pretty surprised when she receive it. On the other hand, my friends can follow the marks on the map and look at several notes I made. I didn't actually go to any post office (I wished if I could have chance). Instead, I handed them to stuff in hotel and paid stamps. To my surprised, those attached with map costed more than those did not, and, most of all, the stuff seriously weighted each of them one by one!

Feb.3

In the afternoon after my dad went out to downtown by himself, I sat in the lobby writing some postcards. Here is a photo of lobby. I sat on the sofa near by the fire in the middle. The fire was actually composed to many candles each in a pot around altogether. It was beautiful and interesting but not warm at all. I wrote three postcards and sticked a map that I use while skiing on each of them. Because I usually tears off the map accidentally, I have used several copies. Then plan a trip for tomorrow to visit the ice exhibition in one of the city in Hokkaido, which I have no idea how to pronounce it. I asked a stuff to help me check the map and bus schedule but he was not comfortable with me speaking English so he asked another stuff who speaks English to help me. I showed him the screen of which I would like to print out, and asked him several questions. To my surprised he said "Sorry, I can't read Japan characters."

Niseko Village

Taking off from school couple days, I am here on vacation with my family in Niseko, Hokkaido, Japan. This first day we entered the hotel, there was this plate on the tea table. It surprised us with chocolate, cookies, fruits, and most of all, the welcome greetings, "Welcome to Hilton Niseko Village Wang sama" Our room was on the very end of the hall way where we can see the gondola and people skiing. I skied for three days, and travel around and stayed in the hotel for the fourth day. I skied mostly with my sister who followed me on the back. We not only went through all the paths in the resort but also discovered some interesting and exciting paths not listed in the map. I love skiing.

2 Pianos, 16 Hands -> Magical Pillow

This performance is amazing and funny! I love musician, especially pianists who are humor and play with their instruments. It reminds me of the time I lived in dorm where I usually stayed up late. It is a secret about my magical pillow?! I sometimes (actually always if I pay attention) hear music produced by the piano from that pillow. I thought that was a illusion because of my tiredness the first time I heard it. However I was pretty surprised to hear it another day. I found that at I can hear the melody at anytime I squeeze my head into that pillow and listen to it carefully. Although I was not sure whether that sounds formed, if there was, I am sure that there IS music in that pillow.  Well, it seems like i'm making this up, so let me tell you the truth: This is a REAL magical pillow!

Skier Morning

Checking the snow report at 6:05 in the morning, I have already dressed up the interior of my skier set. Just put on my skiing jeans, helmet, gloves, neck scarf, and, most importantly, coat, then I am ready to go. However, I would have to go eat breakfast first. (of course, writing this journal) Second, I will go to the storage locker for my boots and ski board. It is snowing outside with a little bit sun shine. I hope it will be a good weather. Before I went to the lobby for internet, I talked to my sister, who was sleepy, about which area we are going to explore today. Yesterday, we have gone through about half of the ski resort. It was fun. We not only have gone through green, red, and black lines but also "white lines". We call them white lines because they are not marked in the map! Nevertheless, I marks them as light blue when we got back to the hotel. It's so much fun to explore those path where you can have a super exciting, perhaps a little bit life risking, seemingly professional skiing experience. Well, you would say that is too dangerous, but we always wear helmet and only for it if we see someone has gone through. By the way, you should wear helmet too because, you know, you may stumble and hit your head while walking in a classroom.

Thank You Sir

"Thank you, sir."

When I was on the high speed rail train yesterday, I found myself very thirsty. Standing in front of the vending machine, I did have enough coins. I was wondering if there's anyone who I can exchange some coins, but that was just a thought. Walking on the way back to my seat, I felt much more thirsty (probably by the fact that I did not get a drink). So whimsically I randomly asked a two boys, both looked like about 20, whether I could exchange some coins. They said they didn't have ones. Feeling a tinge of embarrassment, I turned a man beside and asked the same question again. He took out some coins with his hand upward to me, but there wasn't enough for a hundred dollar bill. For a second, I wished I can disappear from that atmosphere. I told him I have hundred dollar bill only. To my surprise, he said "It's alright! Just take thirty dollars. Here you go!" Then he gave the coins as the way my dad would do. Though feeling uncertained, I took them and brought a bottle of water. Before I would walked by him again, I stood there and looked through my bag trying to find anything I could give to him as a thank you gift, but I can't find one. Finally I just said "Thank you, sir!"
, and I guessed that's the best feedback one would like to hear.

A Day (1)

After spending two days at home, I finally made up my mind to throw all tasks aside and went on a 'adventure' by myself. At the early morning, I quickly dressed up and planed for this special day. 

On a stretch paper, I write: 

~ High Speed Rail 

~ Shihlin MRT Station & bus

1. TheoJansen's exhibition at National TW. Science Edu. Centre

2. Taipei Art Museum

3. Movie (at ?)

Then I printed out all the travel info. from websites for both places. Thinking I'm well prepared, I asked my dad, who just waked up and walked out of the room, to drive my to HSR station. I told him I wanted to visit this exhibition. To my surprised he asked no more than which train was I taking, so I said "Right now." And without any doubt or concern (perhaps I can't tell), he picked up the key and drove me there. "Have a nice day!" said he. Jumping out of the car, "Yeah~call you when I'm back!" I shouted with a rush. 

~continue on next post~

Green Pond

Yesterday and today, I stay at home alone. Not as usual, I listened to music while doing some homework. I seldom open iTunes when I am working on something, especially doing calculus calculations. However, I found today to be special to listen to music because it is too silent in the house with one me and my bunny. Letting the music shuffle, I found a relaxing and enjoyable music called Green Pond. It reminds me a cartoon I used to watched when I was younger. As I could remember it has the same main melody as the music played at the end of the cartoon. Starting with the sounds of birds and flogs, it pulls me closer to the nature and reminds me the garden at the balcony across my room. I should spend some time watering and taking care of the plants. They are important to the air filtration and provide a connection of nature to us in this city.

Music of 1/2 Nature

If you don't get why it's called "Music of 1/2 Nature" then you're like the bird sitting on the sixth line. 


It's a picture taken in front of a friend's house in the middle of countryside. I called it "Music of 1/2 Nature" because it looks like a music script with lines and notes. Those black birds sitting on the lines sometimes moved around changing their spots. I was actually standing across a road from the wires, so I cannot really hear the birds singing but perhaps they were. This picture has a deeper representation that: Nature is like a dynamic and magical scrip of music. The reason I added "1/2" is that the wires are not really part of nature, instead, they are built by man. They are the result of industrialized world. "1/2 nature" indicate that there are other half of non-nature. Nevertheless, it is my favorite picture taken this year currently.

Cute Grandpa

Today is Sunday, so....well I am writing my blogger in grandma and grandaddy house. It has not been really a long time since that last time I saw my grandma and grandpa. They usually visit 'me' once a while. They operate a small hotel in Taichung. Last night, grandma saw me eating several bananas. (I am kind of addictive to banana recently as you could be additive to coffee) This morning, I saw three hug strings of bananas lying on the table. Although they don't usually talk to me, I know they love me very much. This morning, I was the last one to eat breakfast. When I went to the dinning hall, my parents, sister and all other had left. Only my grandpa was there siting in front of the TV and almost finishing eating. Usually, as I can imagine, he would go straight to work (there're just endless stuff in the hotel to sort out) after having breakfast. However, he was there wondering around in the dinning hall. He cleaned up several tables and stirred at the TV for a while.

Day Dream

Don't ask me why. I just want to stay with you because

I'm tired, but not the tired you usually think

I wish to read something, but not those textbooks you think i'm going to read

I wish to take rest but the a rest you usually take.

I wish to take off my glasses, but not that i don't want to see but I want to see things blur. blur, blur Everything is mixed together

But together it's clear in my mind. So clear that no one, perhaps myself can perceive. 

Just a Dummy Variable

During calculus class, Mr. James always said "Just a dummy variable~!" when he wrote the variables inconsistently. I think he used to theta sign for angle because no matter what sign he applied at the beginning of the calculation, x, t, or y, he often turned out to write theta - unconsciously. It was funny that he often changed the variables at the middle of calculation. Actually, there're both pro and con about this. One thing good about this was that beside being concentrated, I would understand the calculation well and have a clear concept. Because if I was not clear about any of the logic, I would easily get lost whenever he changed the variable. However, it is con that changing the variables is itself very confusing. And of course, it's not good for him to keep this habit. Still, "Just a dummy variable~!" he would said.

Nothing but Something

For a long time, I have realized that I am not interested in social studies so much as in science. Reading some of the policy and society issue on environment is like reading nothing but something. Of course there is 'something' but it just seems to me 'anything'. I have no sense to most of the politics, government, and social terms as well as the 'number' of years. Reading about them is like 'viewing' words. I cannot remember what I read just the next line. (I'm trying to think of example now, but it is blank in my mind.) Unlike reading other parts (more scientific parts) where I enjoy learning the content, reading about different policies and their time lines is, honestly, boring to me. However, I am trying to find 'anything' interesting about it. Perhaps, I am trying to be persuade myself into interested in those contents so I can enjoy reading and learning it. Ultimately, turning 'nothing' into 'something'. Nevertheless, environmental science is really an interdisciplinary subject.

Scientific Journal

At the library, I was wondering and flipping some scientific journals when I found a journal called Organization. Thinking it would interesting and have something to do with the level organization of life. (since I just the another one about the usage of radioactive Ga in medicine) Indeed, it was interesting. The first article is "Have yourself a merry little Christmas? Organizing Christmas in women's magazines past and present" Abstract, intro, methodology, analysis, conclusion, reference....This is not a book, it's a journal! Then, I quickly looked through all the topics: "Regardin gifts-on Christmas gift exchange and asymmetrical business relations" "The organization of Santa: fetishism, ambivalence and narcissism" "The sacralizaion of Christmas commerce" "Ritualized Christmas headgear or 'Pass me the tinsel, mother: it's the office party tonight'"....Reading through the back cover where I found a line with small front lies "Special Issue--Christmas", I laughed all the way. And even harder, when I see the subtitle "the 'critical' journal of organization, theory and society. I guess that's not my field.

Thank U~ Mr. Dahl

Thank you Mr. Dahl to have us write this blogger. 

At the beginning I was ambitious to have this bonus. Then for a while, I found it annoyed. I was tired to write something after at the end of the day while I think it should be time for me to relax. I found it hard to come up with something. However, when I reviewed the posts I wrote, I found them interesting. Now, I was glad that I have wrote something. I realize it's good to have a diary. Sometimes, I am afraid to write down things make me depress or frustrated because I don't want to face them and wish to throw them away. However, I found that writing them down is actually a good way to express myself. When I review them after a while, I would find that there's no big deal. By reviewing the posts, I understand myself better. Also, I am glad that I noted down some funny and interesting things in daily life. So I can laugh at them again. XD

Kissing Fish

Perissodus microlepis is kissing fish because it presents frequency-dependent selection on the side of month. Frequency-dependent selection means the fitness of a phenotype declines if it becomes too common in the population. When there are more left-mouthed fish, right-monthed fish have more reproductive advantageous, and vice versa. I imagine because they have to kiss each other when they mate, so fish that reproduce have the opposite phenotype of that which are most common in the population. However, as the text mentions, the reason is that rich-monthed fish often attack others on the right, and left-monthed do the opposite. My imagination had just been broken. Why scientists think and analyze in such a cynical way? Maybe someday they will find out my interpretation is correct as well.

Love is hurt

Once upon the time, I promised myself not to get close to boy, not to have any boyfriend in high school. I was right. But you make me break the promise. Sorry. It is all my fault. Maybe I should have kept the promise, if I know it will turn out like this.  My biggest fear is losing you. NO. Please at least be a friend with me and don't ever let me face it, if, the only one hurt is myself. Please tell me it will be fine. Please.

The Cat

The cat is dancing the garden with other cats at night. She is a crown. "Meow~! Meow~!" she laughs. Sad crown. Sometimes, she is very hungry but she finds it harsh to force herself to eat. It is her favorite tuna. Each day, she will have a new fresh fish. But she is very conserved to eat it. She will finish it slowly but completely even the bone, sometimes. She drinks the milk all the time. It makes her drunk. Is it a dream or reality? Or it is the reality in a dream? She is blurred. But one thing for sure, the reality is more like a dream than a dream is. It does not matter whether it is a walking shadow, as long as the light is at the back. She cannot see light. She has to face the dark but she must realize: Following darkness, she will always followed by the light. It is never certain and promised about the future. Cold. Like a swimmer rushing in the middle of ocean to reach a land. Brave. One direction. Warm is always behind. Does she believe it?

Who am I?

I am so mess up with myself recently. I don't know why I feel about anything anymore. I can't distinguish good and bad things. I feel scare of myself justifying everything that should have seemed nonsense. I regret with everything I did. And I always think of myself not good enough. I scared of myself because I sometime have cynical thoughts flashing through my mind. I feared that people can see through my mind because I can't help myself thinking too much things that I should not have even thought about. I wish to help people around me but at the same time, I fear that they think of me in a negatively way. I wish I can make people around me and make them feel warm but I sometimes find myself doing the opposite. I ignore who I care about and love the most. Am I mentally ill? Why I am thinking about so many things? It is growth? or stressed? both? I am so brave to face myself. I know I live in an emotional loop that I wish to break it as soon as possible. I sometimes say or type what I don't really think in that way? Now, I'm so confused with myself.  Who am I?? :((

Cat & Dog

A cat hides in the shadow and carefully looks at a dog. Sitting in the dark, she wish to come out and play with the dog. But what if the dog bites her? Sill, she cries when the dog is gone.

A dog is wondering in the garden after his busy burying bones. He wish the cat which he saw long time ago will come out and play with him. He tries to hide his teeth. He drinks milk and eat fish. Sometimes, he sings the Meow song. But is she still in the shadow?

Fair is Foul, and Foul is Fair.

Her eyes are round in the dark but sharp outside. She does not what the dog to see her sharp, scary eyes. Once a while, she will come out but no matter how long and how much she has prayed. It is fact that her eyes will change whenever she comes out.

Silence.

Confidence

Yesterday night, I was tired to death to finish up my Macbeth Board Game. Sometimes I found myself lack of confidence. I felt uncertain about my idea so I spent so much time to do outline before I start making the board. I wrote down what I was going to draw for every step in the board game. When I finished, I found so many parts that I could have done them better. Also, I rushed out to finished it because I spent too much time considering about details which do not matter that much for the whole of the project.  I was not satisfied with it until I presented it to the teacher. I was nervous and frustrated. However, to my surprised he gave me a good feedback. Nevertheless, I realized that I did a great job. I wish the teacher would take care of it carefully. Now I love my Macbeth Board Game so much that I'm proud of myself. Lucy is the best! :P

Volunteer Service in Yilan Happy

Some people around might think those people with down syndrome or Huntington disease, or other genetic defects are ugly and weird, or scared of their sounds and yelling. In fact, they are cute, frank and genuine. That morning, as usual, I danced and exercised with them. There was a patient kept yelling with a horrible face, but when I get close to him and listen to his sharp sounds carefully, I found that he was singing the song. I told him that I had a wonderful singing. He laughed and jumped around. It's hard to tell how I felt and what I have learned spending time with them. But I know all these experiences and insights have changed my perspectives on my life, people and the world. I became more happy. I wish to share this happiness and warmness with people around me. Smile. :)