Emotional

I had a dinner of swimming team. There were five girl, including me, three boys, and two coaches. I sat with three other girls. One of them was sick, the other two seemed to worry about something. I was worry about someone too. The other girl and the boys ate over forty plates of meat and continued to play (in which loser had to eat more) when I left. I wondered if they really enjoy eating in that way, in which they must be too full. I felt as if an outcast. I realized that, recently, I was not enjoy the moment I lived. I thought and worry about things that I did not [really] try to make it better. I regretted the moment that had just past [almost] all the time. Others might think I was doing alright because regretful feeling came from the fact that I did not try my best. [perhaps no one except me cared] I felt sorry to my mother [and mostly to myself] that I complained my poor time management to her yesterday when we're in a clinic. I knew it must have hurt her. From now on, I need to catch every moment 'doing' something and stop 'thinking' things. There is really no time for me to worry anything. I want to be motional NOT emotional!