Skier Morning

Checking the snow report at 6:05 in the morning, I have already dressed up the interior of my skier set. Just put on my skiing jeans, helmet, gloves, neck scarf, and, most importantly, coat, then I am ready to go. However, I would have to go eat breakfast first. (of course, writing this journal) Second, I will go to the storage locker for my boots and ski board. It is snowing outside with a little bit sun shine. I hope it will be a good weather. Before I went to the lobby for internet, I talked to my sister, who was sleepy, about which area we are going to explore today. Yesterday, we have gone through about half of the ski resort. It was fun. We not only have gone through green, red, and black lines but also "white lines". We call them white lines because they are not marked in the map! Nevertheless, I marks them as light blue when we got back to the hotel. It's so much fun to explore those path where you can have a super exciting, perhaps a little bit life risking, seemingly professional skiing experience. Well, you would say that is too dangerous, but we always wear helmet and only for it if we see someone has gone through. By the way, you should wear helmet too because, you know, you may stumble and hit your head while walking in a classroom.

Thank You Sir

"Thank you, sir."

When I was on the high speed rail train yesterday, I found myself very thirsty. Standing in front of the vending machine, I did have enough coins. I was wondering if there's anyone who I can exchange some coins, but that was just a thought. Walking on the way back to my seat, I felt much more thirsty (probably by the fact that I did not get a drink). So whimsically I randomly asked a two boys, both looked like about 20, whether I could exchange some coins. They said they didn't have ones. Feeling a tinge of embarrassment, I turned a man beside and asked the same question again. He took out some coins with his hand upward to me, but there wasn't enough for a hundred dollar bill. For a second, I wished I can disappear from that atmosphere. I told him I have hundred dollar bill only. To my surprise, he said "It's alright! Just take thirty dollars. Here you go!" Then he gave the coins as the way my dad would do. Though feeling uncertained, I took them and brought a bottle of water. Before I would walked by him again, I stood there and looked through my bag trying to find anything I could give to him as a thank you gift, but I can't find one. Finally I just said "Thank you, sir!"
, and I guessed that's the best feedback one would like to hear.

A Day (1)

After spending two days at home, I finally made up my mind to throw all tasks aside and went on a 'adventure' by myself. At the early morning, I quickly dressed up and planed for this special day. 

On a stretch paper, I write: 

~ High Speed Rail 

~ Shihlin MRT Station & bus

1. TheoJansen's exhibition at National TW. Science Edu. Centre

2. Taipei Art Museum

3. Movie (at ?)

Then I printed out all the travel info. from websites for both places. Thinking I'm well prepared, I asked my dad, who just waked up and walked out of the room, to drive my to HSR station. I told him I wanted to visit this exhibition. To my surprised he asked no more than which train was I taking, so I said "Right now." And without any doubt or concern (perhaps I can't tell), he picked up the key and drove me there. "Have a nice day!" said he. Jumping out of the car, "Yeah~call you when I'm back!" I shouted with a rush. 

~continue on next post~

Green Pond

Yesterday and today, I stay at home alone. Not as usual, I listened to music while doing some homework. I seldom open iTunes when I am working on something, especially doing calculus calculations. However, I found today to be special to listen to music because it is too silent in the house with one me and my bunny. Letting the music shuffle, I found a relaxing and enjoyable music called Green Pond. It reminds me a cartoon I used to watched when I was younger. As I could remember it has the same main melody as the music played at the end of the cartoon. Starting with the sounds of birds and flogs, it pulls me closer to the nature and reminds me the garden at the balcony across my room. I should spend some time watering and taking care of the plants. They are important to the air filtration and provide a connection of nature to us in this city.

Music of 1/2 Nature

If you don't get why it's called "Music of 1/2 Nature" then you're like the bird sitting on the sixth line. 


It's a picture taken in front of a friend's house in the middle of countryside. I called it "Music of 1/2 Nature" because it looks like a music script with lines and notes. Those black birds sitting on the lines sometimes moved around changing their spots. I was actually standing across a road from the wires, so I cannot really hear the birds singing but perhaps they were. This picture has a deeper representation that: Nature is like a dynamic and magical scrip of music. The reason I added "1/2" is that the wires are not really part of nature, instead, they are built by man. They are the result of industrialized world. "1/2 nature" indicate that there are other half of non-nature. Nevertheless, it is my favorite picture taken this year currently.

Cute Grandpa

Today is Sunday, so....well I am writing my blogger in grandma and grandaddy house. It has not been really a long time since that last time I saw my grandma and grandpa. They usually visit 'me' once a while. They operate a small hotel in Taichung. Last night, grandma saw me eating several bananas. (I am kind of addictive to banana recently as you could be additive to coffee) This morning, I saw three hug strings of bananas lying on the table. Although they don't usually talk to me, I know they love me very much. This morning, I was the last one to eat breakfast. When I went to the dinning hall, my parents, sister and all other had left. Only my grandpa was there siting in front of the TV and almost finishing eating. Usually, as I can imagine, he would go straight to work (there're just endless stuff in the hotel to sort out) after having breakfast. However, he was there wondering around in the dinning hall. He cleaned up several tables and stirred at the TV for a while.

Day Dream

Don't ask me why. I just want to stay with you because

I'm tired, but not the tired you usually think

I wish to read something, but not those textbooks you think i'm going to read

I wish to take rest but the a rest you usually take.

I wish to take off my glasses, but not that i don't want to see but I want to see things blur. blur, blur Everything is mixed together

But together it's clear in my mind. So clear that no one, perhaps myself can perceive. 

Just a Dummy Variable

During calculus class, Mr. James always said "Just a dummy variable~!" when he wrote the variables inconsistently. I think he used to theta sign for angle because no matter what sign he applied at the beginning of the calculation, x, t, or y, he often turned out to write theta - unconsciously. It was funny that he often changed the variables at the middle of calculation. Actually, there're both pro and con about this. One thing good about this was that beside being concentrated, I would understand the calculation well and have a clear concept. Because if I was not clear about any of the logic, I would easily get lost whenever he changed the variable. However, it is con that changing the variables is itself very confusing. And of course, it's not good for him to keep this habit. Still, "Just a dummy variable~!" he would said.

Nothing but Something

For a long time, I have realized that I am not interested in social studies so much as in science. Reading some of the policy and society issue on environment is like reading nothing but something. Of course there is 'something' but it just seems to me 'anything'. I have no sense to most of the politics, government, and social terms as well as the 'number' of years. Reading about them is like 'viewing' words. I cannot remember what I read just the next line. (I'm trying to think of example now, but it is blank in my mind.) Unlike reading other parts (more scientific parts) where I enjoy learning the content, reading about different policies and their time lines is, honestly, boring to me. However, I am trying to find 'anything' interesting about it. Perhaps, I am trying to be persuade myself into interested in those contents so I can enjoy reading and learning it. Ultimately, turning 'nothing' into 'something'. Nevertheless, environmental science is really an interdisciplinary subject.

Scientific Journal

At the library, I was wondering and flipping some scientific journals when I found a journal called Organization. Thinking it would interesting and have something to do with the level organization of life. (since I just the another one about the usage of radioactive Ga in medicine) Indeed, it was interesting. The first article is "Have yourself a merry little Christmas? Organizing Christmas in women's magazines past and present" Abstract, intro, methodology, analysis, conclusion, reference....This is not a book, it's a journal! Then, I quickly looked through all the topics: "Regardin gifts-on Christmas gift exchange and asymmetrical business relations" "The organization of Santa: fetishism, ambivalence and narcissism" "The sacralizaion of Christmas commerce" "Ritualized Christmas headgear or 'Pass me the tinsel, mother: it's the office party tonight'"....Reading through the back cover where I found a line with small front lies "Special Issue--Christmas", I laughed all the way. And even harder, when I see the subtitle "the 'critical' journal of organization, theory and society. I guess that's not my field.

Thank U~ Mr. Dahl

Thank you Mr. Dahl to have us write this blogger. 

At the beginning I was ambitious to have this bonus. Then for a while, I found it annoyed. I was tired to write something after at the end of the day while I think it should be time for me to relax. I found it hard to come up with something. However, when I reviewed the posts I wrote, I found them interesting. Now, I was glad that I have wrote something. I realize it's good to have a diary. Sometimes, I am afraid to write down things make me depress or frustrated because I don't want to face them and wish to throw them away. However, I found that writing them down is actually a good way to express myself. When I review them after a while, I would find that there's no big deal. By reviewing the posts, I understand myself better. Also, I am glad that I noted down some funny and interesting things in daily life. So I can laugh at them again. XD

Kissing Fish

Perissodus microlepis is kissing fish because it presents frequency-dependent selection on the side of month. Frequency-dependent selection means the fitness of a phenotype declines if it becomes too common in the population. When there are more left-mouthed fish, right-monthed fish have more reproductive advantageous, and vice versa. I imagine because they have to kiss each other when they mate, so fish that reproduce have the opposite phenotype of that which are most common in the population. However, as the text mentions, the reason is that rich-monthed fish often attack others on the right, and left-monthed do the opposite. My imagination had just been broken. Why scientists think and analyze in such a cynical way? Maybe someday they will find out my interpretation is correct as well.

Love is hurt

Once upon the time, I promised myself not to get close to boy, not to have any boyfriend in high school. I was right. But you make me break the promise. Sorry. It is all my fault. Maybe I should have kept the promise, if I know it will turn out like this.  My biggest fear is losing you. NO. Please at least be a friend with me and don't ever let me face it, if, the only one hurt is myself. Please tell me it will be fine. Please.

The Cat

The cat is dancing the garden with other cats at night. She is a crown. "Meow~! Meow~!" she laughs. Sad crown. Sometimes, she is very hungry but she finds it harsh to force herself to eat. It is her favorite tuna. Each day, she will have a new fresh fish. But she is very conserved to eat it. She will finish it slowly but completely even the bone, sometimes. She drinks the milk all the time. It makes her drunk. Is it a dream or reality? Or it is the reality in a dream? She is blurred. But one thing for sure, the reality is more like a dream than a dream is. It does not matter whether it is a walking shadow, as long as the light is at the back. She cannot see light. She has to face the dark but she must realize: Following darkness, she will always followed by the light. It is never certain and promised about the future. Cold. Like a swimmer rushing in the middle of ocean to reach a land. Brave. One direction. Warm is always behind. Does she believe it?

Who am I?

I am so mess up with myself recently. I don't know why I feel about anything anymore. I can't distinguish good and bad things. I feel scare of myself justifying everything that should have seemed nonsense. I regret with everything I did. And I always think of myself not good enough. I scared of myself because I sometime have cynical thoughts flashing through my mind. I feared that people can see through my mind because I can't help myself thinking too much things that I should not have even thought about. I wish to help people around me but at the same time, I fear that they think of me in a negatively way. I wish I can make people around me and make them feel warm but I sometimes find myself doing the opposite. I ignore who I care about and love the most. Am I mentally ill? Why I am thinking about so many things? It is growth? or stressed? both? I am so brave to face myself. I know I live in an emotional loop that I wish to break it as soon as possible. I sometimes say or type what I don't really think in that way? Now, I'm so confused with myself.  Who am I?? :((

Cat & Dog

A cat hides in the shadow and carefully looks at a dog. Sitting in the dark, she wish to come out and play with the dog. But what if the dog bites her? Sill, she cries when the dog is gone.

A dog is wondering in the garden after his busy burying bones. He wish the cat which he saw long time ago will come out and play with him. He tries to hide his teeth. He drinks milk and eat fish. Sometimes, he sings the Meow song. But is she still in the shadow?

Fair is Foul, and Foul is Fair.

Her eyes are round in the dark but sharp outside. She does not what the dog to see her sharp, scary eyes. Once a while, she will come out but no matter how long and how much she has prayed. It is fact that her eyes will change whenever she comes out.

Silence.

Confidence

Yesterday night, I was tired to death to finish up my Macbeth Board Game. Sometimes I found myself lack of confidence. I felt uncertain about my idea so I spent so much time to do outline before I start making the board. I wrote down what I was going to draw for every step in the board game. When I finished, I found so many parts that I could have done them better. Also, I rushed out to finished it because I spent too much time considering about details which do not matter that much for the whole of the project.  I was not satisfied with it until I presented it to the teacher. I was nervous and frustrated. However, to my surprised he gave me a good feedback. Nevertheless, I realized that I did a great job. I wish the teacher would take care of it carefully. Now I love my Macbeth Board Game so much that I'm proud of myself. Lucy is the best! :P

Volunteer Service in Yilan Happy

Some people around might think those people with down syndrome or Huntington disease, or other genetic defects are ugly and weird, or scared of their sounds and yelling. In fact, they are cute, frank and genuine. That morning, as usual, I danced and exercised with them. There was a patient kept yelling with a horrible face, but when I get close to him and listen to his sharp sounds carefully, I found that he was singing the song. I told him that I had a wonderful singing. He laughed and jumped around. It's hard to tell how I felt and what I have learned spending time with them. But I know all these experiences and insights have changed my perspectives on my life, people and the world. I became more happy. I wish to share this happiness and warmness with people around me. Smile. :)